Ho hum

For some writers, misery and despair are sources of inspiration, that provide a rich seam of storytelling. For others, it paralyses them, leaving them unable to function, to write, robbing them of creativity.

Sadly I am amongst the latter type of writer. When darker thoughts begin to prey upon my mind, I shut down and stop writing. For some time now I've been afraid of addressing this, that to address a weakness such as this would lead to treatments that may be even more detrimental.

Well, I can't escape that any longer. This morning I was diagnosed with clinical depression and have been prescribed anti-depressants (citalopram hydrobromide), something that over the past twelve or so years of flirting with dark moods I have managed to avoid. My rationale has been that I don't want to surrender myself to chemicals that might make me feel better, but not address the root issues, and that might leave me unable to be creative.

I'm not exactly writing at the moment. I'm barely functioning, at a time when I really need to be creative. I was afraid that being on antidepressants would stop me writing, but if I'm not writing at the moment, then I might as well give them a try.

So, I'm not exactly sure what will happen over the next few weeks/months. Whether I'll be quieter than usual, or whether a great fugue will lift from me, and allow me to work, remains to be seen.

Whatever happens, it will doubtless be an awfully big adventure.