Universal Code of Ethics for Scientists

My mind works in strange and unusual ways… I see this story and my mind thinks this…

The Seven Principles of Ethics for Scientists (Alternative)

  • Ensure that you wear a white lab coat, have unkempt hair, and carry a scientific device at all times. This will reassure the public that you are a genuine scientist, and know what you are doing.
  • Keep the Tesla coils clean at all times—this is more energy efficient and therefore environmentally friendly.
  • Try not to antagonise the villagers who live in the shadow of your forbidden castle. They are ignorant and superstitious, and very quick to burn your castle down, whether you are raising the dead or merely performing some midnight titration.
  • Insane cackling after midnight is considered impolite. Keep the volume down during working hours. Consider a short insane chuckle as an alternative.
  • Treat your hunchbacked assistants well. You may rely on them to take a pitchfork for you in the future.
  • Where possible, avoid re-animating the dead, or recreating extinct species. This only leads to trouble, and can hinder your chances at future funding, particularly as these creatures are known to turn on their masters and creators.
  • Death rays are wicked cool, but generally frowned upon. If you must invent them, keep them for private consumption.

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