Time and chance happeneth to them all
I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.
Ecclesiastes 9:11
I teach children who are marginalised and removed from mainstream schooling. They have been out of education for some time. Their behaviour, their attitude, their circumstances have meant that they are not in a position to get the magical five GCSEs at A*-C which is demanded of children.
And yes, for some of them it is their own fault. They have chosen to behave the way they did. There are factors and circumstances which brought them to that point, but that does not excuse them. It explains how they came to be where they are now, but they chose to take that final step which saw their behaviour and attitude change, and which prevented them from remaining in mainstream education. To that extent, it is their fault.
But nonetheless they have been given a second chance, and they have taken it. And with the best will in the world, they can never be as good as they might have been. Imagine you were training a group of ten teenage athletes. All ten show promise when they come to you at the age of 12, and you hope in four years time they will do great things at the Great Race. And they begin to train together.
Then two of the ten start slacking off. They start failing to show to practice. They smoke, and drink, and eat unhealthily, until they can no longer be considered part of your training team. With one year left, they are removed from your team.
Another trainer offers them a chance. Stop the unhealthy behaviour, train with me, and we’ll let you run in the race. Will these two be as good as their eight fellow teen athletes? No, the damage has been done. But with what they’ve got, let them try. Let them achieve what they can.
That’s essentially what I do. I take the ones who slacked off, goofed off, fucked up and got kicked out. And we work with what we’ve got. The race is not to the swift, nor battle to the strong. Our victory is not coming first, but simply taking the opportunity and trying as best as we can.
A*-C in GCSE English would be great for these kids. But realistically, it is doubtful. The real achievement will be getting a GCSE, regardless of the grade, because otherwise they would have no qualification.
So what happens when a few months before our Great Race, you are told it is not sufficient for your second-chance athletes to be able to finish the race. They must be able to finish it in a set time, or the can’t even try?
That’s what I’ve been told. Without guarantees of A*-C, then a student isn’t allowed to try. They are robbed of the chance to achieve. What is the point of a second chance, if it amounts to “you shouldn’t have wasted your first chance”.
It is their fault that they need a second chance. But now that we’ve given it to them, it is not their fault if we take that chance away from them.
And now this weekend I need to figure out which of my students to tell “I have no faith in you” next week…
Keeping busy in 2012
I resisted the urge at the start of the month to post up a list of New Year resolutions. I think I even managed to resist the urge to make any resolutions, other than some vague and nebulous whims in the back of my mind.
But we achieve nothing in this life without goals, and so I need to have some goals over the course of this year. So what follows are my goals, the things I want to have achieved by the end of this year–or at least to have well in hand by the time 2013 rolls around.
I teach, and whenever teachers are lectured about setting targets, we’re always reminded to make sure our targets are SMART targets–that is, they must be Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timed. In other words you have to articulate exactly what you intend to do, how you will measure success or failure, whether it is something within your power to achieve and whether it is possible to achieve it, and finally the timescale within which this must be achieved.
Without further ado, here are my personal goals for 2012 (and a little into 2013).
Complete a 5k, 10k, half marathon and full marathon within a continuous 12-month period
I love running, when I actually do it. I have signed up for the BUPA London 10,000 in May of this year, which takes care of the 10k. I have registered interest in the Royal Parks Foundation Half Marathon in October this year (and failing which I’ll go for the Run to the Beat half marathon later that month). I intend to start the 12 month period from the date of the BUPA London 10,000, giving me until May 2013 to complete this challenge. Training for a 10k and half marathon will include multiple 5ks, and I intend to integrate Parkrun into my training schedule, which takes care of the 5k aspect. So this only leaves a full-marathon. Incidentally, the period May 2012-May 2013 includes the date of the Virgin London Marathon 2013. Which is the final part of this challenge. And beyond that? I suppose I could learn to swim and try a triathlon?
Do the above (almost) barefoot
As much as I love running, I hate the knee injury I picked up in 2007 doing it, and which I’ve been trying my hardest to avoid aggravating again. Last year I read Born to Run and after looking into the science behind it, I’m quite convinced of the benefits of barefoot running. However, I’m not totally stupid, and I don’t trust the roads in London one little bit. So I’m not going to run barefoot. Instead, I’m going to take part in minimalist running and complete these races wearing my Vibrams which I got at Christmas.
Run 1000km in 2012
A solid training schedule for a marathon really ought to see this achieved and then some!
Complete one manuscript for publication in 2013
OK, so the concept of “completion” is a little nebulous here. When is art “finished”? But complete to me means that the manuscript is somewhere in the 80-100,000 word range, and has been beta-read and revised. Over on Write Anything I have challenged all the writers to have a project this year, and this will be my project. There will be more details in February about my project, but long-time readers of the blog will probably be able to guess which long-neglected and long-overdue project I’m going to work on…
Complete one short story anthology for publication in 2013
In addition to the above manuscript (and to give myself a break from it) I’ve got a side project I want to get finished this year. I have a collection of first draft stories and a few fragments that I want to get polished up and put out there for your edification.
Participate in all four Sketchcrawls in 2012
Art is a hobby that is more neglected than my writing. With art it’s a time thing. I can’t do it at work, for obvious reasons. Evenings are out because for half the year it is dark, and I don’t have studio/natural lighting available. Plus it takes time and I have other demands like lesson planning, cooking dinner, reading, procrastinating from writing, barely looking after eMergent Publishing and Write Anything etc etc…
You get the idea. More than writing, art takes preparation and time I don’t always have. Meanwhile, I keep asking for art equipment and books to help me improve a skill I don’t practice nearly enough. As with writing, easing myself into a routine and a habit will mean I stick at it, rather than declaring “I’m going to do more” then doing nothing. Participating in Sketchcrawl in 2012 will mean I draw more in 2012 than I did in 2011. I will improve my skills and my confidence will increase. A lack of confidence in my abilities stops me from going out there and drawing, because people inevitably watch you when you are drawing, and it makes me really nervous. As I improve, I’ll feel more confident about taking out paints, an easel etc. I’ll feel more inclined to take the time to draw and paint, developing the habit further.
Read smarter, not harder
I have an eReader. I have about 650 books on it at the moment. Most of them I’ve never read before. All of them are on my “to read” list.
Why? Because I feel I ought to. They are classics of Western literature, books by authors I like, and books that have aroused my curiosity. But reading because you feel obligated is no fun. I found Dante’s Divine Comedy a complete draft after Inferno. The juvenilia of Jane Austen was turgid and dull. Reading is meant to be fun, but at the rate I’m going through these books–particularly the slow-down when I find a book tedious–I won’t finish them for 20 years! And I’ll still be adding to them during that time.
So this year, and for the future, I’ve made myself a promise. A book gets four chapters to enthrall me. If after reading the first four chapters I don’t feel compelled to keep going, I’ll stop, and move to the next one. It’s a request Scott Sigler makes about his podcast novels–try the first four episodes before making your decision to carry on or stop listening. And I’m going to apply it to my reading list. Even if the book is “one of the greats”. Especially if the book is one of the greats!
Nothing horrendous in there I think. All very specific targets, all with measurable success/failure targets, all within my power to achieve, all very realistic things to aim for, and all with time targets (except perhaps the last one, which has an undefined time target of “however long it takes me to read the first four chapters”).
Making goals/resolutions/vague promises of self-improvement is easy. The trick is in keeping to them. Writing them down, and in a public forum, helps with that, particularly if you have friends and relations vindictive enough to bitchslap you for your failings who care enough to encourage you to stick with your goals.
Fail better.
First day of the new term today.
It only took about 15 minutes for one of the students to declare I was a shit teacher. And only a further 30 seconds for two others to join in.
*sigh*
They had an assessment today. We did the work for it before the break. We went over it in the tutorials before the break. I gave them handouts to look at over the break, and even wrote home to their parents–enclosing the handouts and asking the parents to get involved since the student needed to know the opinions of an adult–all to prepare them for an assessment today.
Six students turned up (two of them late). Three declared they didn’t want to do the test. One denied I had ever mentioned anything about it (despite my clear recollection of telling him about it on the last day before the break). And one declared he didn’t understand any of it (unsurprising, as he hadn’t attended for the previous four weeks).
So yeah, I’m the shit teacher. Getting it down in writing, it looks ridiculous. But at the time, despite trying to laugh it off, I took what they said to heart. I felt like a shit teacher.
So for much of this evening I’ve moped about feeling crap. But I’m past that now. I’ve got some fresh ideas for the next time the class sees me (and hopefully most of them will show up!). I’m reminded of the quote by Samuel Beckett, which I think I need to get tattooed onto me so I can remember it.
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.
Next week, when I see the class again, it may all go wrong. I may get called a shit teacher again. And I may fail. But I’ll fail better, week after week, and if I fail well enough, they’ll pass.
And that’s all I really want.
Here comes Jakey Claus!
In the West of Scotland at this time of year, boys and girls await the arrival of a bearded, mischievous imp who visits in the dead of night, bearing gifts.
You’ll know him by his faded, slightly browny-red outfit, the stale smell of pish and tobacco, and his long beard, which was once white but is now yellowed and matted with lumps of vomit. On Christmas Eve, when children are tucked up in bed (or drinking on street corners), if you listen carefully you can hear Jakey Claus clattering about on the rooftops, cursing under his breath as he tries to find a chimney to climb down.
Most years you can hear the feral reindeer that pull his sleigh–Fannybaws, Cuntybaws, Bawbag, Bampot, Glaikit, Eejit, Hingy and Thingy–along with Rudolph (red-nosed due to excessive alcoholism), but this year Santa already has 152 points on his license for driving over the limit, and his sleigh was clamped by the polis.
Jakey Claus, when he eventually comes into your house, brings presents. If you have been a good boy or girl then Jakey Claus will leave a half-empty bottle of Buckfast in your tree. If you have been bad, then he’ll leave a puddle of vomit at the base of the tree. To be honest, he might just do that anyway. Either way, Jakey Claus will rifle through your stockings and take a few items for himself.
Many people leave treats out for Jakey Claus. Traditionally this includes a bottle of the cheapest whisky you can find, some fritters, a can of Irn-Bru, or a Munchy Box. However, you can leave out a glass of warm milk if you prefer. Just make sure to top it up with methylated spirits..
So best to behave yourself, since you don’t want to get on Jakey Claus’ bad side. “He sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake…” That’s not a jolly song, that’s a threat.
So have a very Merry Christmas pal…
Pearls of wisdom from my students
We are fast approaching the end of my first term as an English teacher. It has been… interesting. I may not have been able to impart a love of literature on my students, we may be a little behind on the Controlled Assessment schedule, but they all know the etymology of a hell of a lot of swear words, and why swearing is considered impolite.
I work in FE, but I teach children who are still in compulsory schooling (I teach as part of a course for students who have been excluded or are otherwise outside of mainstream education). So my charges are at times perhaps a little mouthier and a little cheekier than your mainstream class might otherwise be. Swearing, grudges, arguments and disobedience may be familiar to most teachers, but I hope there are very few classes where burning test papers, threatening to stab each other, actually getting stabbed and turning up to class drunk/stoned are regular occurrences…
At any rate, they are entertaining and frustrating in equal measures. Amongst the highlights this term have been:
- Student A burning his test paper. When asked not to burn it, his response was to set fire to Student D’s…
- “Sir, you look like a gay farmer”–an oddly specific fashion critique delivered by Student A
- “Is this going to be another boring lesson where we have to learn stuff?”–Student C doesn’t quite grasp why we’re having lessons…
- “I speak English much well betterer than you sir innit.”–Student A demonstrates my point about why he ought to pay more attention when I’m teaching him about Standard English.
- “Can we watch a film today sir?”–the cry of every class, at the start of every lesson. Since the start of term. Jesus wept.
- “Sir, where’d you get your shoes from?”–not as common as “can we watch a film”, but Group B have an odd fascination with my footwear…
- “Dave!”–my name, according to Group B…
- “Paulie babes”–my name, according to Group A…
- “Dave!” “It’s not Dave, it’s Paulie babes.” “Nah, it’s Dave. Dave, tell them your name is Dave.”–an argument outside the staffroom while I was trying to have my coffee break…
- “I’m going to put you in Room 101 sir!”–threat from Student S when I insisted she deliver her presentation (the topic was Room 101). When I told her she could put me in if she wanted and realised I wasn’t kidding, she actually delivered a good presentation!
- “This is a waste of time when we could be doing stuff to help us pass our GCSE.”–Student G’s reason for putting Room 101 into Room 101 for his presentation. The presentation which was being assessed and would count towards passing his GCSE…
- “Uurgh, that’s disgusting. If I ever go to Wales they’d better not make me eat that.”–Student L on being told what’s in a haggis. I’m only responsible for English, not geography…
I have had Group A for the last time this term, and my last session with Group B will be on Tuesday. And we will be watching a film (yes, I have seen Bad Teacher, why do you ask?)–but it is an adaptation of the book they will be reading next term, so it’s educational, honest!
